Why job hunting is similar to falling in love

When it comes to finding a new job, we often think that it’s simply a matter of executing a carefully-designed action plan. Sometimes this is indeed enough, but often it is not.

Actually, looking for a new job has a lot to do with emotions, passion and feeling a click. And these matters have their own, not always logical rules, as you can read below.

Do you want to get the job before the interview has even started? Do you want recruiters to want to talk to you and hire you? I bet you do, so, let’s see what falling in love and looking for a job have in common. I hope it will help you look at your job search process from a different perspective and, ultimately, get you the job you want!

It’s all about the chemistry

Most of you know what it is like to fall in love. It is all about a certain spark, chemistry, or butterflies in your stomach. Whatever you wish to call it.

This is how you will want to feel when you see the job offer. You want to feel enthusiastic, to feel joyful! It may be an offer that does not match perfectly with your talents and experience, but there is something about it. Something that makes you feel it is meant for you.

I had a client who recently went for an interview and, at first, was sure that he would not get the job as it was perhaps too ambitious for him. But he told me that something magical happened during the interview. There was this great energy in the room when he started to talk to his future boss. It actually did not feel like an interview but more a discussion on an equal level. They understood each other perfectly. And guess what, he got the job!

It is impossible to give smart advice concerning this point as it is either there or not. The only thing I can say is, do not make any assumptions. Even if your CV doesn’t match perfectly with the job ad, just be open, be yourself and see what happens. Follow your emotions.

Confidence definitely attracts

Some of my clients say after a long time of searching: “Dorota, I don’t care anymore, I just want to work, the kind of job doesn't matter to me anymore, I am good at many things so I will just take whatever comes.”

But it just doesn’t work that way. Recruiters and HR Managers do not advertise their jobs for “any” candidate, especially someone who is in fact demotivated and will take anything that comes their way. Would you fall in love with a guy or girl who seemed desperate?

Stay attractive to your potential employer by being confident about yourself and your talents and expertise. But also, by knowing exactly what you want and what you don’t.

Playing hard to get can be worth it

Be aware that job hunting is a psychological game. Our psyche is constructed in such a way that scarcity is perceived as attractive. So, the more difficult it is to get something, the more we want to have it. Nothing you can do about it, it just works like that.

How do you show your scarcity? By showing during the interview that you are also testing the waters and you will not take just any offer or any job. You do it by asking critical questions to demonstrate that you are also checking out if the job is actually the right fit for you.

If you just say yes to anything and don't ask critical questions, you can be perceived as desperate and this will put people off.

It’s a long-term investment

You need to show that you are interested in the job for the long term and that you will not disappear after a week. Recruiters and hiring managers worry about the following three things:

• Will you be excellent at the job?
• Will you love the job?
• Will you be the right fit for the company?

All of these questions are geared towards finding out if you are a good investment and will not run away after a month. You need to show commitment but you can also ask about their commitment. Remember point 3.

It is about cultivating a relationship

Recently, I attended a great event for women in tech and one of the best workshops I went to was about relationships. The core message was: Relationships are priceless, not only to our personal lives, but also to our professional ones.

All relationships are like seeds. You first plant a seed and then water it. You treat it with love and attention, waiting for a beautiful plant to grow. And if you do not attend to it, it will die.

I have a couple of clients who are masters in cultivating relationships and by using this approach, they found the jobs they wanted and transformed their careers successfully.

So, what are you doing now to cultivate relationships that can be crucial for your job hunt?

You will not find love or a job if you lock yourself up at home

Ok, ok, I know, there are many dating sites, and many job search sites, and you might just find something or someone browsing those for hours. But at a certain moment, you will need to go outside. Remember, opportunities may present themselves in the most unexpected situations.

So, open up and refresh your job-hunting strategy if it has not been working so far. Give it some love, don’t be afraid to be YOU and be awesome. I know you can!

This article originally appeared on IamExpat in the Netherlands.