People often say their wedding was the happiest day of their life, but as an expat in Germany, it can be hard to know what to expect! We've put together this guide to weddings in Germany and German wedding traditions: from rings, clothes and cakes to gifts and wedding day pranks.
In Germany, getting married is the only way that couples can have a legally recognised partnership. Registered partnerships were phased out in 2017, when marriage rights were extended to same-sex couples. Small wonder, then, that getting married is still pretty popular in the federal republic - while the number of divorces continues to drop - in 2019, a total of 416.300 couples tied the knot, including 14.000 same-sex couples.
The first step to planning your wedding in Germany is to ensure you fulfil the requirements to get married, and then apply to your local registrar’s office (Standesamt) for a marriage licence. For more information on how to get married in Germany, including requirements and necessary documentation, head to our Marriages and Partnerships in Germany page.
Once you receive your marriage licence, you can start planning your German wedding. Note that the licence is only valid for six months from the date of issue.
In Germany, most marriages consist of an official civil ceremony, followed by a celebration with friends and family. Some people choose to have just a civil marriage signed into law, without a large celebration, while others have a civil ceremony, a religious ceremony, and a big party to round off the whole thing.
Ultimately, your wedding will come down to personal choice. There are plenty of wedding planners, venues and caterers that can help you put together a celebration that reflects you as a couple
Unsurprisingly, most people choose to get married in the warm, sunny months between May and September, when the chance of getting a fine day is the highest - although, knowing the German weather, nothing is ever certain.
Marriages in Germany take place in the presence of a registrar. This is the legal part of the marriage. The ceremony is performed at the registry office. Registry offices usually have several different rooms you can choose between, depending on your preference and the number of guests you wish to invite. You do not necessarily need to have any guests or witnesses.
You can also choose to hold the ceremony in a different municipality, but you will need to arrange this with the registry office in the municipality in which you are registered.
Some couples then choose to follow up the civil ceremony with a religious, humanist or symbolic ceremony. Many couples still choose to get married in churches, even if they are not particularly religious or regular church attendees. In 2016, around one in five of all weddings in Germany included a church ceremony. Other religious ceremonies are less common in Germany, but it is possible, especially if you belong to a major religion like Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism or Judaism.
If you are interested in having a religious ceremony, speak to your local representative and they will be more than happy to provide you with information on the next steps.
Finally, many couples cap off the day with a wedding celebration. This might be held on the same day as the civil or religious ceremony, or on another day entirely. This celebration can be as simple or lavish as you like. Many couples in Germany choose to simply head to a restaurant or bar after their marriage ceremony, but the choice is yours!
There are several costs involved in a German wedding. You have to factor in not only the cost of the post-wedding celebration, but also the fees for the civil ceremony and religious ceremony (if you are having one). The appointment at the registry office will cost somewhere in the region of 100 - 200 euros, and the celebration will add a lot of money to that cost if you are paying for your guests’ food and drink.
Most couples spend somewhere between 10.000 and 20.000 euros for a wedding. This includes costs like:
If you want some guidance with planning a wedding in Germany, you could engage the services of a professional. Wedding planners are able to make sure you follow the correct procedures and timelines for submitting documentation, as well as offering other services like venue selection, catering, decoration, photography, transportation, and more
These traditions typically take place before a wedding in Germany:
A few weeks before the wedding, it is customary for the bride and groom to head out for a bachelorette or bachelor party (Junggesellenabschied) at the local pub.
During the night, the bride and groom’s friends usually attempt to embarrass them as much as possible, by making them undertake many silly tasks. These tasks often involve selling things to strangers, dressing up in strange and embarrassing outfits, and even cleaning things!
On the night before the wedding, the family and friends of the bride and groom come together to break china and porcelain dishes as a good luck omen for the soon-to-be-wedded couple.
According to the legend, the smaller (and thus greater) the pieces of broken porcelain, the luckier the marriage will be. If, however, any glass gets broken that night, the marriage will be jinxed with bad luck.
Once the china-smashing is over, the bride and groom must work together to clear up all the mess, symbolising how the couple will have to cooperate and work together during their upcoming marriage.
A lot of aspects of the "typical German wedding" may seem pretty familiar - although there are some surprises!
In Germany, couples wear their wedding rings on the right hand. Traditionally, the engagement ring is worn on the left hand - although many couples actually forego an engagement ring altogether.
After the couple is wed, the engagement ring then switches over to the right hand with the wedding ring - which is usually a simple band - to symbolise the change in social status.
Wedding attire varies greatly from country to country, with internationals often preferring to wear the traditional clothing of their home country. For the true German wedding experience, there is an extensive list of traditional items for the bride and groom to don!
Historically, German brides would wear black dresses with white veils. Nowadays, however, brides in Germany have adopted the more common tradition of wearing a white wedding dress, usually without a long train.
German brides tend to wear more of a ballgown-style wedding dress, with a fingertip-length veil. Fewer women choose to wear a veil nowadays than in the past, but it is still popular, especially at church weddings. Most importantly of all: it is absolutely forbidden for the groom to see the bride before the ceremony!
At a wedding in Germany, the bride usually wears Brautschuhe (literally bride shoes) during the ceremony and reception. These are white shoes that can be flat or heeled, according to the bride's preference, but traditionally have a wide, low heel.
Most bridal shoes have a small thin white strap across the ankle or the top of the foot to hold the shoes on, although there are a variety of different styles of shoe available for the bride to choose from.
It’s also tradition that the bride buys the shoes from her savings, but using only one cent coins! During the wedding reception, the shoes are put up for auction. Tradition dictates that the groom puts in the top bid, and returns the shoes to his new wife.
As in many other western countries, in Germany the bride carries a wedding bouquet on the special day. This is usually given to her by the groom. The wedding bouquet is then used after the ceremony, when the bride throws the bouquet over her shoulder to a group of unmarried women. The idea is that the one who catches the bouquet will be the next to get married.
The bride also carries strips of white ribbon with the bouquet, which are given out at the end of the wedding so that guests can tie white bows to the antennae of their cars for the drive to the wedding reception.
Traditional groom’s attire in Germany is somewhat more simple: an all-black suit and a white shirt are the way to go. A classic tuxedo or well-tailored dress suit is perfect for the groom’s special day, and the groom has a lot of freedom as to the cut, customisation and accessories for the outfit.
Unlike many other countries, where the bride and groom have large groom or bridal parties, at a German wedding the bride and groom usually only have one trusted person to help them through their wedding preparations.
This places a lot of trust and responsibility on the people that the bride and groom select, making it a true honour to be chosen! The best man and maid of honour can be of any gender, can act as witnesses at the civil ceremony before the wedding, and can even plan bachelor and bachelorette parties for the bride and groom.
If there’s one thing that the Germans are phenomenal at, it has to be food, and their wedding cakes are no exception! The Spitzwecken is one piece of food theatre you might come across at a German wedding. It is a three-metre-long cake that is brought into the reception room on a long wooden board by a group of guests.
The group pretend to be unable to get the cake into the room, and after much toing and froing (and perhaps a pause for a German beer or two), the guests decide to saw the cake and the wooden board in half, to fit it through the door. Everyone cheers and helps themselves to a piece of cake.
There are many different types of dances that take place at weddings, but at a German wedding, there are two main ceremonial ones. The first dance of the evening takes place between the bride and groom, and is usually a waltz.
After this dance, the bride dances the next song with her father, and the groom with his mother, while the bride’s mother and groom’s father dance together. After these two traditional dances, the fun really begins!
Despite all the paperwork and ceremony, German weddings also have some really fun customs and a lot of unusual traditions. These are the most well-known and commonly-practised German wedding traditions.
After the wedding ceremony, the bride and groom sometimes head outside armed with a saw and attempt to cut through a large log together. Though this may sound strange, the sentiment is sweet - as soon as they are married, the log is the first obstacle that the couple must overcome!
Once the newlyweds have tackled the ceremonial sawing of the log, the couple are finally ready to journey happily onwards with their marriage (and their wedding reception)!
The most famous German wedding dance is the veil dance, where the bride and groom dance under the veil. After the dance, the veil is held above the bride and groom’s heads, and unmarried guests run to try to rip a piece from it. Legend has it that whoever tears the largest piece of the veil will be the next bride!
The kidnapping of the bride (Brautentführung) is another quirky German wedding tradition. The “kidnapping” takes place during the wedding reception, where the groom’s friends “abduct” the bride, and the groom must do everything he can to find her.
The group will most likely head from bar to bar in the local area with the bride, making it even more difficult for the groom to find his new wife! Once the groom has found his wife, he must pay a ransom to the kidnappers - usually paying the kidnappers’ bar tab will suffice.
Other pranks at German weddings often take place after the ceremony. Friends of the bride and groom will organise a series of pranks for the newly married couple to find when they return to their bedroom or house after the wedding.
These include hiding alarm clocks around the room, or filling the house with balloons. The goal is to make the couple’s first night of marriage as memorable, funny and annoying as possible.
After the wedding ceremony, a procession of cars will drive around town, honking their horns as they pass through the area. Often, other drivers will honk back, to wish the newly married couple good luck in their marriage.
In Germany, the bride and groom tend not to have a gift registry, as is customary in a lot of other western countries. This can make gift-giving a little more difficult, but if you're really stuck for ideas, it’s perfectly fine for guests to give the happy couple money for their new life together instead.
Gifts are most commonly given at the wedding reception. However, the bride and groom might also accept gifts at the end of the ceremony if some guests will not be attending the reception. There is often a gift table (Geschenketisch) in the room of the wedding reception where guests can leave their gifts for the bride and groom.
Like any gift-giving occasion, the best gifts are usually things that come from the heart - if the bride has spoken about travelling, give something travel-related, if the groom has expressed his intention to buy a house, give money!